Leave as a man, return as a fighter
by Ayingott
Summary: Tsuna knew what responsibility came with being the boss of mafia; he knew that there would be blood by his feet; he knew that his death would be desired by many and he knew that not everything can be solved by simply wishing for it. Advisor!Reborn, Student!Tsuna, implied X27


**Disclaimer: KHR does not belong to me.**

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**Leave as a man, return as a fighter.**

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There are things that would never be and things that could never be taken back. Tsuna was no longer young and stupid and naïve. He no longer looked at the world with the eyes of a child. He knew what responsibility came with being the boss of mafia; he knew that there would be blood by his feet; he knew that his death would be desired by many and he knew that not everything can be solved by simply wishing for it.

He was Vongola Decimo, Sawada Tsunayoshi.

He was a mafia boss.

He was a murderer.

He was a friend. A son, a brother, a teacher and a student.

He was a lover.

There was nothing he could really change right now, not this far into the game of life that was called mafia. There was no way back and no detours. Tsuna had chosen to walk the path laid down under his feet; he had chosen to be a part of something bigger and more powerful. This was not a time to suddenly have second thoughts and doubts of what he had decided to do.

He was not alone, not anymore.

Vongola Decimo took a deep breath and opened his eyes, staring at the darkness of his office. The fire in the fireplace had gone out, only the coals were still smoldering lightly. The silence was a little too deep, even if it was near dawn and the rest were still sleeping, blissfully unaware of what Tsuna was about to do. They would not know about any of this until they come and check his office once the sun is up in the sky, or so Tsuna hoped. It wouldn't matter much if they were to find it faster, but then there would be a bigger possibility of them ruining the whole deal.

A small smile settled on Tsuna's lips as he thought of his Guardians.

A cowardly way to leave, he was aware. But this was the only way. None of them would allow Tsuna to do this, none would let him go alone and none would listen to his orders and requests to stand down and let fate move forward. Tsuna had made a decision, a very hard one, and he would not back down now. He had chosen to walk this path and he would reach its end no matter what it takes. Even if he has to crawl.

The old clock by the bookshelf, the one that had been here while Nono was still in lead, let out a quiet _dong_ as the minutes changed from 3:29 to 3:30, signaling that Tsuna would have to go soon. The Vongola boss let out a quiet sigh and got up from his chair. The papers and documents and notices were left unfinished on his desk, the ones already signed and approved had been moved to sit on the floor and next to the desk. There was no time for work, at least, not this kind of work.

Tsuna stopped by the small sofa that was placed in a way to face Tsuna's desk, in case an uninvited, or maybe rather important, guest would still be able to have a conversation with the boss and Tsuna would not be interrupted in his work. A black coat and a pair of black gloves rested on the sofa. They had been carried here before Tsuna's arrival, the brunette knew. It was comforting, in a way, that his old tutor still treated him like a frail child, not yet ready for the world on the other side of the door.

A low chuckle and Tsuna was already wearing the gloves, the Vongola emblem sewn in gold adorned the top, and already reaching for the coat. It wasn't made of flimsy materials, no. It was something that Leon had made, something that had saved his life many times before and will, surely, save many times in the future. It would have made Vongola prouder had Tsuna chosen to wear the cape of Primo, but this wasn't a job he could wear it to. Not this one.

The clock was now ticking away the thirty seventh minute after three and Tsuna was ready to go. A final look at the documents scattered on his desk, a smile to the picture that stood on his table and showed himself and his guardians, his tutor Reborn and Xanxus, sitting next to him in something other than a throne, and Tsuna walked out of his office. It was a hard decision to go and leave them all, maybe forever, maybe for just a few days. It was never easy.

Never.

His footsteps were quiet against the carpeted floor. Tsuna hadn't really learned the art of walking with no sound at all, but he hadn't had a need for it either. Only his coat rustled lightly as he made his way through the corridors, calmly and with no hurry. He still had twenty minutes to go.

"So you decided to just waltz out the front door? I would have thought you'd rather be flying off, less trouble." A low voice, speaking with the wisdom of many battles and losses experienced, came from someplace that Tsuna had passed on his way.

It no longer startled Tsuna, the sudden surprises at the most unexpected times. He had gotten used to it, hardened by the few years he had spent as Vongola Decimo. "It's a matter of honor, Reborn. If I don't come back then I at least want to leave as someone strong."

His tutor, maybe even a father figure he had needed so much back in the day, if Tsuna was allowed to call him that in his head, easily caught up and started to walk besides his student, his pride. He was the only one who knew of what Tsuna would do, was getting ready to do for a while now. He had been there to give advice and show the road for Tsuna to walk on, after all. He was a part of this, no matter how insignificant.

"You left them a note, right?" the hitman asked, eyeing the slowly brightening sky as they passed a large window, "What about him, did you tell him?"

"On my desk, easy to find. And no, I didn't. He would have wanted to come along, just for the sake of destruction. I can't have that – this is my fight to start and win." Tsuna spoke quietly, but there was a small shadow of tiredness in his voice. No matter how ready he was, he would rather not dirty his hands with blood, no matter how tainted it was.

"A smart decision, I must say." Reborn acknowledged and stopped once they reached the stairs. He wouldn't go any further; it wasn't his road to walk from this point on. "Come back, Tsuna. They still need you, all of them." The words 'myself included' were left unsaid, hanging in the air like a promise to be heard once returned.

Tsuna, already on his fourth step down the stairs, turned around and smiled at his tutor and friend. His eyes held a determination that could rival a beast's and courage that could never be seen in anyone else. "I will, don't worry. Take care of them, please. And thank you. For letting me go on my own." He turned his back to Reborn again, the rings on the fingers of his right hand and under the material of the glove heated up and gloved lightly, "And if he asks, tell him that I love him. It's hard, but he'll understand. Eventually."

Reborn nodded, knowing that Tsuna would know he did so. His dame student was strong now, a monster of Reborn's own kind. To know that he had been a part of this growth and now had the chance to see his pupil walk off to a war he had to fight alone… It was a moment of both pride and tragedy. And yet the two would always be together, inseparable. It was how it was; there was nothing he could do but watch Tsuna leave.

The front door was left wide open, first rays of morning sun stepping over the threshold lazily and wind wiping away any traces left by Tsuna. Reborn was still at the top of the stairs, waiting for the sun to fully rise and the chatter of voices to come fluttering though the corridors and rooms. He would meet them here, a knowing look in his eyes. They would soon find out, come to him for questions and demands and he would have to keep them in place, inside the mansion and at calm as their boss was somewhere unreachable for them.

His task was not as easy one, the hitman knew that. And yet it had to be done and Tsuna trusted him with this, so he would do it - with his dying will and pride as a teacher.

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He would come back a week and few days later, tired and emptied and hands covered in blood that was not his own. It would be in the blackness of the night, when he was hidden by the shadows of the darkest hour of the day and silence that only the moon could create. The front door would be still open, left like that since the day he had walked out of the mansion as a sign that everyone waited.

A smile lifted the corners of Tsuna's lips and he closed the door once he was inside the mansion, finally letting his tense shoulders relax just a little and a sigh he had been holding in for days to escape.

Chocolate brown eyes look up at the top of the stairs and he moves forward. "Thank you for taking care of them. They were a lot of trouble, I would like to think." He doesn't sound as tired as he looks, but that is only a front and they both know it.

"Good work." Reborn responds and waits until his student is next to him on the top of the stairs before ruffling his hair, something he rarely does, but this time is special, "Bad?"

"So many ruined lives, death and blood. But the family is no more; I didn't let a single one go." Tsuna closes his eyes but keeps walking – the ghosts of this mission would haunt him for a while. "They did not hide the treason, nor did they lie. Thought they would be victorious against me alone."

There was a reason why Tsuna went alone and Reborn had promised to keep it away from Tsuna's guardians and lover alike. Reasons that he would never mention again and keep them a secret shared between Tsuna until the day he dies. This was something Tsuna had to do alone, something that no one else would be able to shoulder and carry through life. It was Tsuna's duty to end it and then repent for what he had both done and failed to do.

It was a boss's duty.

Once again they walked through the empty and quiet corridors of the Vongola mansion. Once again they felt like tutor and student, even if they no longer were. A feeling of safeness and comfort, a trust shared between the two and a silent conversation that was conducted with movements and eyes alone. Years of being together, years of learning and failing had made them this close.

"Get some sleep, tomorrow you can take off. Once they see the front door closed you will be sought out and asked questions, so rest while you still can." Reborn stopped and gave one last fleeting advice before going back to his own room, duty fulfilled. "He's in your room, has been there since found out you were gone. Never though Xanxus to be the clingy type."

Tsuna laughs quietly, gloves slowly being pulled off from his hands and stuffed in the pocket of his coat. "Yes, well… There are a lot of things people don't know about him. About me too, but that is not the point, not for this conversation." His gaze flickers to the rings, clean and shiny like the day he left for this mission.

"I better go then. Get some sleep, like you suggested. Tomorrow, no, today will be a long day." The Vongola boss says his goodnights and walks further down the corridor, past his office and the piles of documents on his desk.

Not tonight, not yet.

There is a twisted feeling of accomplishment somewhere inside Tsuna, something he's not sure whether he likes or hates. It's a small feeling, barely there and overwhelmed easily by the tiredness and guilt and sorrow that comes together with murder and death added to the growing number on Tsuna's list. Some would say that it's better to forget and live on. Because if you remember every single one, you slowly lose your mind and brake, though for Tsuna it's the other way around. He is still here, still sane and still fighting against the current because he remembers. He remembers each and every one of the deaths he's to be blamed for.

That, as Reborn once said, is also a duty of a boss, a leader. To remember.

Another sigh, this time because of his own foolish thinking and ideas too complicated for this hour of the day. Tsuna reminds himself to return to them at some later time as he enters his bedroom. There is fire burning in the fireplace and the smell of fire that comes from a human soul rather than the heart of the fireplace.

Xanxus watches him with eyes that tell so much he will never say with his mouth and Tsuna understands; he always does. The coat is left on the dresser next to the door and in five steps Tsuna is standing next to the man sitting in front of the fireplace, a small smile on his lips and love in his eyes.

"I'm home."

"It was about time, I got tired of waiting."


End file.
